Thursday

The Fallacies of ‘Meant To Be’ & ‘Everything Happens For a Reason’

When it comes to matters of the heart, of love and life, if it is meant to be, it will be. Simple as that. But, what you must realize is that it is a choice – people ultimately choose what is meant to be.”

The truth is, we have complete control over what happens or doesn’t happen in love. It is our actions and reactions, our choices & decisions that truly define our ‘meant to be.’ Everything in love is a choice – often choices you make not even knowing any better at the time. That is why learning as much as you can, about life, relationships and love, is so important, because then only can you make educated, correct choices. When it comes to matters of the heart, of love and life, if it is meant to be, it will be. Simple as that. But, what you must realize is that it is a choice – people ultimately choose what is meant to be.

Similarly, people love to say “everything happens for a reason.” I say, no, things don’t always happen for a reason. Sometimes, things just happen and we later invent the ‘reason’ in hindsight. When my first love and I broke up after four and a half years together, I was devastated beyond words. Everyone kept telling me things happen for a reason; but, I knew, in my heart, that wasn’t true. I knew that, sometimes, life just happens and you just have to deal with it.People will say you’re a lot stronger now because of some hardship you went through, and claim that as a reason. That’s not exactly true. You already had that strength in you – it was just exhibited and brought out because of the situation you were in. Any situation would do. One particular situation, like a break-up, doesn’t have to be the “reason” for your strength to show.

You never truly get over the loss of a loved one or a heartbreak. It stays inside because the worst feelings in the world are those of rejection and loss and the worst knowledge is that hearts can change and people can disappear from your life.When you lose something precious, something you were so used to having, you have to learn again to be content without it. You have to learn to see all the other amazing and wonderful things you are and have and realize that what you lost, though precious, was not everything. Even if it was everything, you still did not lose the experience and the knowledge gained from it. You are a better person for it – in every way. You also come to realize that what has been lost, it always finds its way back – all it takes is time. What was once, can be again.

That said, let me tell you what I learned since that time. I learned I am one kick-ass girl who is capable of so much more and greater things than I had been doing. That it was time to move on from loss and improve my life until I was everything I ever imagined myself to be. I was and am a woman of passionate and wide-ranging interests, so I pursued them all. A curious thing happens when you love yourself and do what’s best for you – you become an amazing person. A person whose life does not revolve around another’s, does not need to lean upon another to stand tall. You learn to choose what you want to be “meant to be”, you learn to make your own reasons for everything.

You can’t erase the scars on your heart. All you can do is heal. I am still working to be a more beautiful, better, smarter, wiser, learned and accomplished person. I do this because I truly want to – nothing makes me feel better and happier than knowing I am living up to my ideals and my full potential.

None of us knows what the future holds but I do know that we have the power to create our own path, our own destiny, our own happiness. It is all in our hands. I will reach out & grab my life’s reins and steer. I will decide what is meant to be, and I will choose the reasons why things happen.