Saturday

Down the Dark & Destructive Path . . . A Phoenix Rises

Sometimes, you have to go down the completely wrong and self-destructive path, and do the completely wrong and unhealthy things, in order to learn and find your way back onto the right path. Like the phoenix – whose self-destruction causes her to re-emerge even more beautiful and wiser.

For much of your life, you live according to a plan – whether your own or your parents’ or some other societal entity. This plan is ultimately for your own good. You realize this, which is why you go about following it.

But there comes a time when, for various reasons, you’re unable to follow the plan. Deep-rooted problems surface, questions unanswered, dissatisfaction, physical, hormonal or mental ills. Whatever the case, it pushes you to leave the planned path and dabble in something you know is destructive.
Part of living is to know the dark side – to know the wrong, the bad, the ugly, to learn and understand it and to accept it, even embrace it. Our understanding and acceptance of the darkness within ourselves is what enables us to better understand others and to ultimately become better people. Without understanding, we are narrow-minded, fearful people.

The universe itself is composed of opposites: good and beautiful things, and dark, ghastly, ugly things; but all serve a purpose and all are rightful parts of existence. Like the universe, to live and be human, we cannot deny the dark parts of our conscience and we cannot abhor it either.

No one is completely good, and no one is completely bad; we all have shades of each which show itself depending on the circumstance and the environment we are in. Some people and situations can bring out the best in us, others – the worst.

But to understand this dichotomy, to accept it, you have to be willing to lose yourself to it. No one can live forever in light alone – you must venture into the dark in order to find yourself, in order to understand your fellow man, and the confusing and often unfair life and universe we live in. Indeed, this world, filled with contradictions, is emblematic of humans and life itself – we are the yin and the yang, the light and the dark.

When you become lost, when you become confused, do not deny the dark – embrace it, learn within it, and re-emerge for the better. But keep in mind that last very important point: that you shall re-emerge for the better. Hold onto that last thought – for while it is good to embrace the dark, it is not good to lose yourself to it forever.

I do not condone losing yourself in drugs, alcohol, sex, or other addiction or losing yourself in any cults, religions and activities but I understand that, for some, the painful realities of life have made it impossible to live the “planned life” and require a detour, to explore and learn. Only when one has learned on this sometimes “destructive” detour, can one be the shining light they were meant to be.

Indeed, it is only when the tears have subsided, when you have utterly exhausted your mind, your body, your spirit, when you have engaged in those thoughts and actions which throw your life into turmoil, that you can look upon yourself, so much worse for the wear, and now choose to re-claim your life and be the man, the woman, you had always wished to be.

The light shall always exist to greet you when you return from the dark, and the dark shall always welcome you when the light fails. To live, you must venture between the two – each serves a purpose.

And when this you have learned, shall you rise, like the phoenix, from whose own charred ashes she lifts herself, to greet a new day, bright with new opportunities – a brand new chance to live and soar again.